quumf

v. To sit in waiting, for example, outside a public library and sniff ladies bicycle seats immediately after their owner has dismounted and gone inside. Also to snudge.

Well, Smithy, if you must know, I was over quumfing at the pre-med conference.

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quumf

the art of saddle sniffing

oo aar oi loik to sit outside the pub and quumf

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snurffing, [quumf]

Snurffing is an act whereby the person doing the snurffing finds a lady's bicycle and sniffs the seat.

"Henry, what have you been doing today?"
"Why Charles, I was outside the gym, snurffing, quumf"

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quumf

The art of sniffing ladies' bicycle seats. Well-documented in Viz Magazine. See also, snudge.

Quumfer: Oo-er, I was, er, quumfing your seat missus...
Quumfee: Get out of my house.