ratawang

To hurt, injure, embarrass, or kill in a humorous way.

Typically used in sort of a passive, indirect way, like "Kabir got so ratawanged when he squeezed that orange at lunch and it burst open and he was covered in sticky, disgusting juice residue all day."

Amanda got ratawanged when she mistook that support cord connecting two trees across a ravine in the woods for some kind of redneck zip-line and used a wire (that Kabir knew was broken but decided not say anything) to try and cross the ravine. The wire broke and she went crashing into the deep ditch, bruising herself on rocks and branches, and mortally smashing her cell phone. When I saw it happen, I really thought she was dead at first.

Kabir got completely ratawanged a few months later when he tried running up the slanted trunk of a tree but slipped and slammed down hard on his chin.

Kabir was ratawanged when he discovered a perplexing brown stain on the ass of his khakis and did not know what to do about it. Kabir's The Worst