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retirement home

The deathbed of old people. They check in, they never check out. Before they finally draw their last breath, they are required to live a life of incredible dullness, due to health complications of old folks.

"I'm 60 years old, nothing to do here but to play checkers and eat old corn cobblers, because ham hurts my teeth and bread clogs my arteries."

Heartbeat monitor goes dead...

"Oh dang..."

by Chang Tan December 30, 2005

57👍 12👎


Retirement Home

A place where old people go to die.

The food is generally of very poor quality, and most of their time there is spent sitting around in chair, asking themselves:

"Why do they never come to visit me"

While at the same time staring into the eternal abyss, realising that they are at the end of their life.

"We sent Grandma off to a retirement home after Grandpa died."

by GDPYT November 29, 2018


Anti-retirement home

Aka - the kid's grandparent's house, free babysitting, (even though you should really be paying them). They want to enjoy their retirement that they worked so hard for and planned for a long time, but now, they can't.

I know we have had a whole year to make other arrangements, but we can just bring the kids to the anti-retirement home everyday. I know they are retired, but It's free and I don't trust anyone else.

by Johnny Ock June 26, 2016


Catalonian Retirement Home

This is when a group of guys kidnap several elderly Grandmothers, most commonly their own grandmothers.

They then fill up a large inflatable raft with liquid watery feces, shove the faces of the old women into this while tag fucking them up the arse.

Finally, when they have jism flowing from their anus' the women are thrown into the raft which is set afloat on the nearest large body of water, preferably an ocean

Guy 1: My Nan gave me such a shit Christmas present

Guy 2: Yeah me too

Guy 3: My grandma didnt even give me a present

Guy 1: Fuck those tight bitches, they have it all, we should show them what its like in an Catalonian Retirement Home

Guy 4: But I like my grandmother

Guy 2: Fuck you dickweed, your doing it on you can join them in it

by Reverend Pope September 11, 2009

36👍 23👎