Shaving the Beard

When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.

After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.

Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?

Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!

Shave the beard

When a gay guy dumps his fake girlfriend he uses to hide that he's gay.

Danielle got dumped? I guess jack decided to shave the beard, we all knew

Shaving my green beard

Similar in meaning to chinny reckon. Used to express disbelief, always with an exaggerated motion of one hand on the chin, as though shaving/stroking an imaginary beard. It means that whatever the first speaker has said is so fanciful or impossible that another impossible thing must be true.

Person A: My grandfather was King Henry VIII.
Person B: Really? And I'm shaving my green beard.

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Shave Your Beard

To tell someone off over something pointless or ridiculous. Used when your friend is rambling about something that isn’t even your business and you just have to get him to shut the fuck up.

Ron: Yo bro! I talked to that Adrianna girl in school today. She’ll be my prom date! Isn’t this so ex-

Peter: Shave your beard, Ron.

Ron: What?

Peter: I said shave your beard Ron!

If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beard

Da "parody on da cake-baking saying" remark dat you smilingly say to a cute chick whom you've unexpectedly met somewhere, and you are savoringly pressing her soft warm palms against yer fuzzy cheeks.

I always love joking around about, "If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beard" wif pretty girls whom I befriend; said humorous remark always gets da biggest amused giggle-fits outta dem.