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A digital wristband device worn to track shit frequency, volume and fiber content.
The ShitBit has a slightly uncomfortable intra-anal sensor implanted but after awhile, it’s virtually imperceptible!
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the small pieces of shit that are left floating in the toilet after flushing
After eating those tacos I saw more shitbits than ever before.
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Shitbits (n)
Two or more bits of shit. 'nuff said.
Guy: Dude, that salsa's really gonna cause an explosion of shitbits tonight.
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A fictional - but not unrealistic bathroom aid. When passing an abnormally large shit there should be a gum shield type device on a wall bracket or rope next to you - bite down when that mud child is making life unbearable. Can also be useful day after Halloween when half chewed nuts come out pointy like fucking glass shards.
“Man I dropped a Shamu deuce last night that would have wet the first 6 rows at seaworld. Had to bear down hard on my shitbit”
Similar to a Fitbit around your wrist, this device goes around your waist. Every time you defecate, it will sense that you are about to excrete fecal matter and will start going to work. With its advanced detection system, this device will calculate the amount of snickers dropped in the punch bowl, total squeezes of the sphincter, and will even detect the development of hemorrhoids during the painful process of squeezing out your piping hot logs. At the end of the week, the device will send you a report of how many dumps you have taken each day. It will also recommend lifestyle changes if you are dropping the kids off at the pool too frequently throughout the week. This device is available for a price of $69.99.
Tyrant: Yo dude, my shits have been crazy lately. The tater tots I ate yesterday legit blew through me like a laxative. I bought a Shitbit to help me track how many times I shit per day and the number is astounding. On average, i shit about 4 to 5 times a day.
Big Easy: Bro you might want to see a doctor about that. It seems kinda unhealthy.
Tyrant: Nah dude, doctors are overrated. That’s why I bought a Shitbit. It recommends specific lifestyle changes and even gives you words of encouragement like Siri does sometimes.
Big Easy: Siri and I had sex once.
johnny muffro had huge poo like moles on his face! he he
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two random freckle-molez on jons face that looknlike bad splashback.
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