shomer

To abstain from touching the opposite sex due to a moral or religious upbringing

Levi is most definitely not Shomer, he loves touching woman.

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shomer shabbos

The Jewish day of rest. That means that you don't work, you don't drive a car, you don't fucking ride in a car, you don't handle money, you don't turn on the oven, and you sure as shit don't fucking roll!

Donny: How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: I'm shomer shabbos.

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Selectively Shomer

A Jew who is only shomer with Certain people and at Certain times.

Someone who doesn’t touch members of the opposite sex for religious reasons, however when a hottie wants to hook up, they make an exception.

My friend Shifra, told me she was shomer but I saw her touch Dovid the other day so I guess she’s Selectively Shomer.

-or-

Person 1: her Rivka wanna hook up on the next Shabbaton?
Rivka: no I’m shomer

Person 2: hey Rivka wanna hook up on the The next Shabbaton?
Rivka: omfg of course babe

Person 1: What? I thought you were shomer?!?

Rivka: haha no I’mSelectively Shomer!

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shomer cayleigh

a tradition where men can't touch those named cayleigh

daniel couldn't touch cayleigh because he is shomer cayleigh

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Shomer -ne- Mars Bar

this fine phrase is used as a modern day equivalent of 'less is more' in regards to partners
shomer, meaning to guard in hebrew, and mars bar, in direct reference to a well known nougaty chocolatey treat combine in this well known phrase as a means of refraining from physical contact with the opposite sex.
whilst its ancient origins are some what unknown today,it is believed that its original roots are based on a scale of sickness.
one mars bar= perfect. its really nice innit?
two=umm feeling a bit sick now
three= i really dont want another mars bar
four= ewww get it away from me
..... etc

upto 23 mars bars= the mars bars gang up and kill you.

it is therefore wholly reasonable to draw a conclusion that one mars bar, that special mars bar is best for all involved.

dalia:you just annihilated that clay pigeon,high five shlodawgg!
emily: noooo you cant hes Shomer -ne- Mars Bar.
dalia: oh so sorry.

emily: i just dropped my favourite toothbrush off the side of the empire state building. can i have a hug?
Shleminem: no im Shomer -ne- Mars Bars.

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Shomer Nook

No laying in the book on Shabbos

I'm shomer nook

shomer negotiable

A person who doesn’t touch members of the opposite sex for religious reasons when it’s convenient for them.

A religious Jewish person who is willing to hook up with certain people or types of people but is other wise Shomer Negiah.

“I’m not shomer Negiah, I’m shomer negotiable”
“I’m shomer negotiable”
•••••••••••
A: are you shomer negiah

B: I’m shomer negotiable