smurfology

(n.) the study of all things smurf; Donnie Darko is considered by most experts to have been the pioneer of this field.

Smurfology, as expounded by Mr. D. Darko:

Donnie Darko- “Smurfette doesn't fuck.”
Sean Smith- “That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.”
Ronald Fisher- “No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.”
Sean Smith- “Okay, then, you know what? She fucks them and Vanity watches. Okay?”
Ronald Fisher- “What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.”
Sean Smith- “Yeah, what he does, he films the gangbang, and he beats off to the tape.”
Donnie Darko- “First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gangbang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living if you don't have a dick?”
Ronald Fisher- “Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?”

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