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The sexiest instrument in the entire world, next to the tuba. These instruments are so studly that anyone that plays one is instanty recognized as a god, stud, or downright playa.
"Wow, like, did you see Tuba when he was playing that new sousaphone? I thought I was going to pass out from sheer lust."
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A sousaphone is commonly referred to as a tuba. This is the tuba of choice for many marching bands. The sousaphone section can consist of 1 person, but many bands have up to 20 of these very awkward instruments.
Warning: Use of a sousaphone without proper training can result in the injury of the player or those around him.
Warning: Sousaphones are not to be used during lightning storms.
Sousaphones are difficult to transport on buses and in cars.
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40 pounds of ultimate hotness. Those who are not seksi enough have to settle for playing a less hot instrument like the euphonium or trumpet. Those who are least gifted have to be demoted to the woodwind section, or even the drum line!
It will often cause you back problems, but who cares when you get all of the chicks! (Or guys for those less effeminate female sousa players.)
n00b: "Why is that guy's sousaphone white?"
Me: "Its because nobody likes him. Oh, and because even though he is 30 or so, he cant lift a brass sousa, so he has to carry white trash. He probably was a trumpet player"
Stupid people who dont think: "Isnt that heavy?"
Me: "uh, no, see how seksi I am?"
them: "oh, I forgot!"
Stupid people again: "Why dont they make pads for sousaphones?"
Me: "They do."
other brass: "Why did you pick the sousaphone? its so heavy!"
Me: "You dont choose to play sousaphone, it chooses you. Either that or the director forces you to since nobody wants to until they have."
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The tuba that Stewie Griffin uses to follow fat people around.
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A portable tuba often used in marching bands.
Dude what is that giant thing.
Its a sousaphone. Its like a tuba only cooler, because its portable!
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The best of the best in the marching band. Covered in bitches and drowned in hoes. Best all the way around. Best hair, best kiss, best face, best body and best sound. No one is above the sousas.
Omagash look at that sousaphone player. He/she is so fine. I got to get with that sousaphone player when nobodys around.
An improved rusty trombone. It is a maneuver similar to a 69, but instead one participant performs a rusty trombone while receiving oral gratification. The name is derived from how one partner is "wrapped" around the other being played like a sousaphone. Preferably one of the performers is standing.
Steve slipped a disk the other day when he received a shiny sousaphone from Shannon the other night.
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