sphinct-o-second

That split second just as you realise something really bad has/is about to happen, your stomach feels like you're falling off the top of a tall building and your sphincter grips up tighter than a Duck's Arse.

1. I was in the office late at night and thought the place was empty, I was just about to start Rounding up the tadpoles when a cleaner walked in! There was a sphinct-o-second moment while I frantically packed my todger away.

2. Sent a sext message saying "I'll be home in 5, lube yourself up!" and as I hit sent, I saw "Received: mother in law" !