the turtle is sniffing the cotton

A statement made when one urgently needs to take a large dump. This is a visual reference referring to a piece of feces (the turtle) hanging out of the rectum, and "sniffing" one's underpants. This can also can be used to describe the moments prior to soiling yourself.

Brad: "Hey Alice, let's go have sex!"
Alice: "Hell no, after eating that egg salad the turtle is sniffing the cotton"

Carl: "Forget the roller coaster guys, the turtle is sniffing the cotton"

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turtle sniffing cotton

When you unsuccessfully attempt to hold in a turd and the end pokes out into your underwear, generally resulting in a skid mark.

Man, I need to find a bathroom bad. I've got a turtle sniffing cotton.

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