toilet envy

Toilet envy is a term used to describe a childhood friend who continues to poop like a caveman and wipe his anus with sandpaper despite having the means to own his own bidet and then chastises those of a higher class who have and use a Toto bidet toilet.

Check out the tech bro. He can ride in a car that drives itself but still wipes his butt with paper. Dude has total toilet envy.