two-total

Describes someone who drinks a maximum of two alcoholic beverages in any one night.

This may be for religious, health or financial reasons but is often due to the fact they are a massive self-confessed lightweight and the first sip of a third beverage would see them swinging naked from a chandelier or similar light fitting and nursing a horrendous hangover in the morning.

'Fancy another bro?'
'No wayyy man, don't you remember what happened last time?!'
'Oooo yeh that was nasty.'
'Def gonna roll two-total this weekend.'

two-totaler

Someone who drinks a maximum of two alcoholic beverages in any one night.

This may be for religious, health or financial reasons but is often due to the fact they are a massive self-confessed lightweight and the first sip of a third beverage would see them swinging naked from a chandelier or similar light fitting and nursing a horrendous hangover in the morning.

Hey bro, fancy another?'
'No wayyy man, don't you remember what happened last time?!'
'Oooo yeh that was nasty.'
'Yeh, think I might become a two-totaler from now on.'