The type of mom who has a “live laugh love” poster in every room. She’s in her 40’s but still thinks she’s pushing 27. She has kids whose names you will not find on a keychain or water bottle. Will start a fight with a retail worker and judge other moms.
“Kelly is such a white mom, she just asked to speak to the manager because her chicken had too much seasoning”
44👍 9👎
A White Mom is someone who shoves dry, unseasoned ass chicken down your damn throat.
To become a "White Mom", you must meet all these qualifications:
- Never season your chicken, including salt and pepper
- Always call the manager, no matter the issue
- Be 42% Norweigan, 32.8% French, 8% Swedish, 7% Welsh, 4% Irish, and 100% ANNOYING
- Only shop at Whole Foods, Sprouts, and sometimes Safeway. Don't even think of going to Walmart, Karen.
- Wake up your children, Mary and Joey III, to go to church at 6 AM every Sunday
- Be divorced or married to your cousin
- Drive a Porsche Cayenne or a Ford Fiesta
- Only let your kids watch G rated movies
(Me) Dude, I hate White Moms, yesterday I was at my friend Brian's house, and his mom was a bitch
(Random Guy) Um... what the hell dude, you were at my house yesterday!
(Me realizing what I said) Oh shit...
20👍 9👎
A cishet, middle to upper class, white woman who works hard to maintain a salon groomed and manicured appearance. Systems function to serve her in airing her grievances, and she uses this power for insignificant stuff that perpetually serves only herself with major blinders as to the human suffering and condition of others, in fact she would not want to talk about it.
I'm surprised your mom is at the Communities United Against Police Brutality rally, Jayden. I always thought she was such a White Mom.
6👍 3👎
Well, there can be many different white moms. Some are strict, some are not. A lot of white moms let their kids do whatever they want, some dont. White moms wear some off brand shoes from walmart. They usually have blonde hair. White moms love country music too.
Guy 1-bro why is she wearing Walmart shoes it’s 2019!!
Guy 2-It’s probably a white mom lol
11👍 12👎
A mom in her 30’s and 40’s that “stays at home” because of 1 child (2 at most), takes advantage of Botox and dresses like a basic white girl in her late teens / early twenties. Also flirts with young men like a cougar.
That basic white mom was rocking those shirt denim jeans while she hit on the college age waiter and her daughter was waiting.
Advanced White girl wasted training
I got white mom wasted that time while getting rocky mountain high and polishing off that bottle of wine on vacation in Colorado.
quotes all over the house, thinks they are different than the other moms, uses essential oils to cure everything, has school luches already packed and ready, will not vaccinate their kids. an overall white rich mom
your mom is a rich white mom
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