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wizard's beard

1. A man's beard consisting of the softest, fluffiest and whitest human hairs imaginable. Usually found on an elderly man's chin. Softer than a hamster. Requires of you to feel the hairs in a friendly way. In fantasy settings usually only Wizards have these types of beards, hence the name. Chinese people can grow these kinds of beards too, although the chin hairs grow 256x faster than the cheeks or sideburns. Incredibly rare in Atheist and to a lesser extent rare in Christian parts of the world. Other religions are more beard-friendly resulting in a greater chance of finding a man with a wizard's beard.

2. Can also refer to an incredibly bushy amount of pubic hairs. You can also find crotch crickets here on occasion.

1. Fu Manchu has such a nice wizard's beard. I just want to run my fingers through it and cuddle him.
1. Saruman II was cuddled and hugged by Ivan V in Imperial Russia and his wizard's beard was felt.

2. Last night my schlong got tangled in Roxanne's wizard's beard.
2. Yassin's wizard's beard has too much semen dried up in it. He should wash it or else he'll have crabs.

by Braveheart's thirst for blood February 5, 2007

25👍 15👎


wizard's beard

n. also Gandalf's Beard. A very hairy meat pie, where the lips appear to continue down the legs a lot further than normal due to copious amounts of hair.

"It took me ages to reach the beef curtains; I had to wrestle with her wizard's beard first"

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

15👍 20👎


wizard's beard

The creamy discharge left behind in a guys pubic hair after sex with a female.

After I pulled out, I looked down at my crotch and saw she had given me a Wizard's beard.

Time to shave your balls babe, cause I just gave you a crazy wizard's beard!

by sweetrac August 9, 2011

5👍 5👎


Wizards beard

When a Male shaves all his pubes, except the hairs on the ball sack, giving the subtle appearance of a wrinkly old wizard with a long beard.

Friend 1: when you manscape, do you shave your balls too?
Friend 2: of course dude.
Friend 1: I never have, I'm too worried I'll cut myself.

Friend 2: This bitch got a wizards beard!

by HG2016 September 27, 2019

2👍 1👎


Wizard Beard

When a man has sex with a woman from behind and right before he is about to ejaculate, he pulls out a picture of a beardless wizard and places it on her back, then ejaculates on the picture so that his semen appears to be the wizard’s beard.

Guy 1: My new girlfriend is really into D&D and fantasy shit, what can I do to impress her in the bedroom?
Guy 2: Have you tried giving her a wizard beard?

by Iced Cooly February 23, 2020

3👍 3👎


bearded wizard

1. a wizard with a beard
2. bearded lizard, with mouth full
3. something gross you can't even imagine

do you think we'll see a bearded wizard?

by pixelfairy February 18, 2011

1👍 2👎