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I stuck my schlong deep inside her quivering clam of love!
When your birthday and wedding anniversary are both in December.
I'm 45 and I have been married 20 years this December! Happy merrybirthaversary to me!
When you are blacked out drunk asleep and you get up, still asleep, and pee all over everything but the urinal.
My boyfriend sleep peed all over my bed!
A vodka tampon is when a woman soaks a tampon in vodka and sticks it in her coochie so as to get intoxicated.
When they got the drunk woman to the hospital, they found a vodka tampon in her vagina.
When hail falls on a car dealership, all the new and used cars get dinged up by the hail. They are then put on sale for a reduced price. Hence the term, "hail sale".
After that mega-thunderstorm moved through, the local dealership had a hail sale.
The nervous twitchiness that you get from going too long without sex.
My girlfriend flew back home to see her parents for a week. By the end of that week I was really antsy in the pantsy!
A woman who is topless, breasts exposed.
I was delivering pizza. I knocked on the door and a woman answered with her tits flying. Her boyfriend yelled at her to put on a shirt but she said "Well it's not like he's never seen tits before!" I had never seen tits before.