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A quote by Jamie Hyneman on Mythbusters in the goldfish memory episode
Jaime: I think I'm just going to leave me *wraps cord* I'm gonna kick your goldfish ass
Adam: laughs
a term popularized by Samuel L. Jackson in snakes on a pane
Enough is Enough I've had it with these muthafuckin snakes on this muthfuckin plane.
A bill passed by Congress making it illegal for depressed obese people, who want to blame everyone but themselves, to sue fast food chains claiming that the chains themselves caused their obesity
Obese people wanted someone to blame so they decided to sue the bastards. fast food chains got sick of this so Congress passed the Cheeseburger bill
he shot him
English teacher "you have to use proper English when you're writing summaries in your reading log. is 'he popped a cap in his ass' proper English? no"
What we told Japan to do but they refused so we nuked the shit out of them
President Truman: Japan better back the fuck up
Japan leader: fuck no
President Truman: ok then, boys prepare the atomic bomb
A laptop that Apple got everyone to fall in love with because of the simple fact that it can fit in a Manila Envelope
Person 1: Hey let's buy a MacBook Air
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: it fits in an envelope
Person 2: why the fuck does that matter? are you going to send it to someone?
The Freshman version of "you dropped your pocket"
Freshman: *laughs* hey! you dropped your virginity
Sophomore: Shut up, Freshman