iPon

The next Apple product after the iPad

short for iTampon

person 1: Did you get the iPad?
person 2: no, I'm waiting for the iPon

Ghost Hunters

The gayest show in the fucking world

"Today on Ghost Hunters we'll be in... wait what was that? did you hear that? it sounded like a 'dink' is there a spooky ghost here?"

daily usage limit

What MySpace puts in place to stop spammers by limiting how many comments, friend requests, and messages a person can send in a given day or timeframe.

Basically it's MySpace's way of saying "get the fuck off and get a fucking life"

*person tries to send a message*
Person: sounds great, see you there
MySpace: Warning, you have exceeded your daily usage limit
Person: fuck you Tom

iDildo

Something you shove up your ass while listening to iTunes

(Guy calls Apple store pretending to be Steve Jobs)
Guy: We're releasing a new Apple product, you wanna know what it's called?
Apple Store Employee: sure
Guy: it's called the iDildo, you shove it up your ass while listening to iTunes
*Apple Employee hangs up*

World War 1

Let me put this in terms a teenager can understand

Archduke Franz Ferdinand was in Sarajevo and Gavrilo Princop popped a cap in his ass

Austria-Hungary got pissed off and asked Germany for help who gave them a "do whatever the fuck you want" or a blank check. Austria-Hungary finally asked Serbia to stop all anti Austria-Hungary activities and let them investigate the murder themselves. Serbia said fuck no and then Austria-Hungary declared war

because Russia was an allie of Serbia it began mobilization (preparing for war) and Germany didn't like this so they said "back the fuck up" to which Russia said no so Germany declared war on Russia and for no apparent reason whatsoever (just to be assholes I suppose) declared war on France. the declaration of war by Germany on France pissed off the English so England declared war on Germany

so basically they're all fighting when one day Germany shot a torpedo and sunk the Lusitania. the United States put their foot down and decided enough is enough and they were going to enter the war.

the Germans shit their pants and I can't remember what happened next but that's how it started

Class, today we're learning about World War 1

Zunephone

Microsoft's response to the iPhone, coming in 2013. 6 years late like the Zune

Steve Jobs: iPhone!, bitch
Steve Ballmer: Zunephone!, asshole

iOrgasm

What happens when you spin and spin the wheel of an iPod to the point that it freezes

Person: I kept spinning through the songs in my iPod so much that it had an iOrgasm and froze