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When you get super fried, sit on the couch and get super distracted by your curtains and start quenching your inner desire for tactile stimulation by touching them.
"Dude, i spent Friday night curtain touching"
After consuming too much liquid, your bladder somehow expands to connect to your anus - making it a blanus. Its very birdlike.
16 glasses of water a day has turned my bladder into a blanus.