Wild Bore

When your mate goes from being the craziest guy on a night out to someone so boring that watching paint dry would excite them so much they’d have a heart attack

Jon when did you become such a wild bore?

Porridge

when your mate cashes in on life to watch paint dry and suck his missus’ tit.

Jon, you used to be cool now you’re just porridge

monking off

masturbating, beating off, jacking off, choking the chicken, wanking, jerking off

can't believe goblin keeps monking off

Hawk

Fart, pomp, fluff, bottom burp, air biscuit, blow off, barking spider

Dude did you just let off a hawk?! It absolutely rawks!