Screen condom

People who keep a plastic screen sheath on their smartphone for protection despite the fact that it reduces the quality of their visual pleasure.

I can't understand people who use screen condoms, they never get to fully enjoy their screens. Even without protection, by the time the glass would be so unclear you'd most likely would be getting a new phone anyway...

handwich

Giving your dominant hand a release from wacking off...

Damn Jeb, why ya holding both hands out like that?

Ahh, my right hand just got so achy I needed to give myself a handwich...

Catching Fire

Starting a fire through rubbing wood vigorously.

I jack off so hard to J Law I'm shocked I'm not catching fire...

you're-in!

The subtle feeling of masculine victory when you hit the target your aiming for while urinating.

C'mon you dick... you can hit that shower drain... uh... yeah... You're-in!!!

you're-in!

The subtle feeling of masculine victory when you hit the target your aiming for while urinating.

C'mon you dick... you can hit that shower drain... uh... yeah... You're-in!!!