second cousin

If a resident of the deep south, please see wife. Otherwise, somebody you'll probably rarely meet.

Uneducated southerner: I jes' married mah secind cusin!

Everybody else: I can't come to the party. I gotta go to my second cousin's funeral, even though I never knew him.

smiley central

An add-on to various chat programs, it allows you to add horrendous eyesores to IM conversations. It claims not to install any spyware/adware, but it still installs other crap.

Smiley Central has the most godawfully annoying and ugly smileys ever.

Charlie

Slang used for the Viet Cong during the Vietnam war. It originates from the radio phonetics used (VC --> Victor Charlie), and was shortened to Charlie.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

flux capacitor

A fictional device from the movie Back to the Future that allows travel through time. It can also be used as a scapegoat for computer problems when people ask dumb questions.

Some guy called me to ask me why his computer wasn't working during a power outage, so I told him his flux capacitor was broken.

white flag

1. The universally recognized symbol of surrender.
2. The French national flag.

1. Sir! We're losing our troops fast! We cannot hold out against this assault. I suggest we raise the white flag.

2. German tourists! We surrender!

macintosh

1. An expensive chunk of shiny metal and plastic.
2. An expensive paperweight

You paid $3000 for a Macintosh? I built a PC for $800 that can kick its ass and it STILL looks better.

404

Error returned when a server cannot find the requested page.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary,

Over many a strange and spurious website of 'hot chicks galore',

While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,

And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour.

"'Tis not possible," I muttered, "give me back my cheap hardcore!"

Quoth the server, "404".