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(n.) A phrase often shouted at pregames, "1 if by subway, 2 if by Uber" is a management technique to cluster the party into people taking public transport and those taking a taxi to go out.
A play on Paul Revere's "1 if by land, 2 if by sea" exclamation from 1774. Happens to be a convenient proxy to segment the group into the wealthy and poor.
Paul: "1 IF BY SUBWAY, 2 IF BY UBER."
Jim: "1!"
Maddox Witcroft, IV: "What a peasant."
(n.) An act misconstrued by one party to be a sign of love.
The term derives from a blink being confused for a wink.
Jenna: "Rachel wants to get coffee with me, she must be into me right?"
Tim: "Girls get coffee all the time. I feel it's just a fiction wink."
(n.) A group of middle-aged men with tucked-in shirts and hiked-up shorts.
They tend to cluster at social gatherings to vent about their children or work. Most frequently spotted in pockets of Suburban America, the clustertuck is an endangered social unit due to the rise of Millennial fashion trends.
The clustertuck discussed IT solutions at a backyard bbq.
short for a "Dad I'd Like to Befriend"
Kind, fun, and overweight, DILBs send out family-friendly vibes from all the way across Main Street. One can't help but call him "grill god" and throw a baseball in his direction. Every time a DILB makes a dad joke, a puppy is born in Heaven.
(v.) To confess one's feelings in an uncontrolled, drunken emission.
Due to the intensity and emotion of the statement, a booze bark often resembles the bark of a German shepherd or other oversized canines.
A booze bark will most often occur in loud clubs or Uber rides home, but it may also come to pass by late-night voicemails, at office happy hours, and during going-away parties.
Aaron: "Iloveyoujess."
Jess: "Ew Aaron, stop booze barking."
(n.) how good you are at texting back.
There are different levels of sendgame. Elite sendgame is known as “time travel texting” — responding so quickly that it appears you went back in time to think of reply. Most individuals have mid-tier sendgame with 1-6 hour response times. Atrocious sendgame is known as “Amazon Prime texting” — offering standard reply times of 2 days for qualifying friends.
Devon: "How's his pull-out game?"
Lana: "It's heinous. But his sendgame is on point."
(n.) The act of lifting one's empty fist to the mouth, in order to replicate the act of taking a Juul hit. Performed by individuals who forgot their Juul at home or have run out of Juul pods.
Like when toddlers suck their thumbs, Juul mimes are acts of muscle memory in moments of desire. A Juul-mimer may be delusional and dangerous, and may also be fidgeting and, more rarely, foaming at the mouth.
Person 1: Steven Juul mimed all night.
Person 2: Ya, and then he threatened Lisa.