Ass Monkey

A driver who follows your vehicle at an unsafe distance in their vehicle. A tailgater.

I wish that Ass Monkey would get off my tail!

Merge Monkey

A person who habitually uses the median turn-lane to illegally merge with traffic after a left turn, especially when they could have legally and safely turned into the proper traffic lane.

I was turning into the subdivision and a Merge Monkey almost killed me! I had to swerve to prevent a head-on collision!