Random
Source Code
Random
a. Something that I say way too much, being that I'm a girl.
b. a less polite way of saying, "I abort this mission" or "this is stupid, why are we wasting our time?" or simply "this is retarded"
My Dad: "FOR THE LAST TIME GET YOUR HOMEWORK DONE!"
Me: "Fuck this shit. I have better things to do."
an awesome song by sum 41
Storming through the party like my name was el nino
When I’m hangin out drinking in the back of an el camino
As a kid, I was a skid and no one knew me by name.
I trashed my own house party cause nobody came.
I know I’m not the one you thought you knew back in high school
Never going, ever showing up when we had to.
Is it attention that we crave don’t tell us to behave,
I’m sick of always hearing act your age.
I don’t want to waste my time
Become aother casualty of society.
I’ll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.
Because you don’t
Know us at all we laugh when old people fall.
But what would you expect with a conscience so small.
Heavy metal and mullets it’s how we were raised.
Maiden and priest were the gods that we praised
Cause we like having fun at other peoples expense and,
Cutting people down is just a minor offence then,
It’s none of your concern, I guess I’ll never learn.
I’m sick of being told to wait my turn.
I don’t want to waste my time
Become another casualty of society.
I’ll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.
Don’t count on me, to let you know when.
Don’t count on me, I’ll do it again.
Don’t count on me, it’s the point you’re missing.
Don’t count on me, cause I’m not listening.
Well I’m a no goodnick lower middle class brat,
Back packed and I don’t give a shit about nothing.
You be standing on the corner talking all that kufuffin.
But you don’t make sense from all the gas you be huffing.
Then if the egg don’t stain you’ll be ringing off the hook,
You’re on the hit list wanted in the telephone book.
I like songs with distortion, to drink in proportion.
The doctor said my mom should have had an abortion.
I don’t want to waste my time
Become another casualty of society.
I’ll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down.
Waste my time with them
Casualty of society.
Waste my time again,
Victim of your conformity
And back down.
Fat Lip is an awesomely awesome song.
also... "I punched my friend Clark in the face and now he has a fat lip."
a disgusting, freak of nature barbie doll-come-to-life with disporportionately large tits, a skanky face, and the most atrotious hair in the world. does this creature not have any pride? i have no idea why men want to fuck her when it is so obvious that everything about her is plastic, but then again i am a girl so how would i know.
pamela's breast implants popped, and she will die. this is the truth, and i think it is funny.
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
CHINCHILLA
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
jesuschristalmighty omifuckingod hahahahahahahahh
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
barthy and his chinchillas
the most hysterical TV show in the world. It's this crazy old lady who must be like, 40 million years old, and she gives people advice on their sexual problems, or answers questions she has. She gives you her personal opinion on which sex toys are best, and sometimes when she's telling someone how a certain position works, she uses these posable dolls. SO FUCKING FUNNY!!! The best show to watch when there's nothing else on.
You will die of laughter when you hear how serious sue says the word "clitoris," "rim job," and so on. Its on at 11pm on Fridays @ Oxygen. WATCH IT!
An expression of endearment, or when you feel like something is cute/sweet/touching/whatever
Something you have to say when you read this definition of dad. So sweet.
Me: Aww that song made me cry
Tyler: You're such a pussy
How do you keep four blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down. That's pretty funny.
------------------------------
Son: Dad, everyone in my class is talking about vaginas, but I don't get it. What do they look like?
Dad: Well son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose.
Son: So what does it look like after sex?
Dad: Hmm...Lemme put it this way...have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonaise?
-------------------------------
A husband said to his wife, "Honey, can I take a picture of your breasts so I can see them whenever I want?" And the wife replied, "Yeah, sure. But then I get to take a picture of your shlong so I can get it enlarged."
-----------------------------
*NEWSFLASH* Snow White was chucked out of Disney World. She reportedly pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and said, "LIE BASTARD, LIE"
-------------------------------
So a guy is walking down the street and he sees a sign outside a bar that says, "Pianist Wanted." The guy goes into the bar and says, "Hi, I saw the sign outside your bar." The owner says, "Oh yes. Can you play piano?" The guy says, "Well, I haven't played in a few years, but I used to be quite good at it." The owner gestures to a piano in the corner and says, "Show me what you can do." The guy goes over and starts to play the most beautiful piece that the bar owner has ever heard. When he's finished the owner says, "That was so amazing. What is it called?" The guy says, "Oh, it's called Your Mom Is A Big Fat Slut. I wrote it myself." The owner is a little weirded out, but says, "Okay, whatever. What else can you play?" The guy begins to play another song. This one is even more beautiful than the other one, and by the end the owner feels his eyes tearing. He says, "That is so impressive." The guy says, "Thank you. It's called Your Sister Slept With The Football Team. I wrote it myself" After a bit of thinking, the owner says, "Well, you get the job. Come around tonight, and just do your thing. People will request songs, but you just have to remember NOT to tell them the title of the song."
So the guy goes home, and at 8pm, he dons his old tux. However, because he hasn't worn it in a while, and he's gained some weight over the years, he can only fit into it if he isn't wearing underwear. But no matter, he goes to the bar.
While he's walking there, he realizes that he dropped his money, so he bends down to pick it up. What he doesn't realize though, is that when he bends over, his pants split open.
So now he's in the bar, and everyone loves his piano skills. Then some chick comes up to him and says, "Hey guy, do you know your fat hairy balls are showing?" The guy looks up and smiles proudly, saying, "Oh yes! I wrote it myself!"
funny jokes are something that someone tells and everyone else pretends to laugh at.