Assentials

I think you can guess what this means.

She's sweet, she's nice, and she's super intelligent and all but she's really missing the assentials I need in a girl. Too bad.

assential

Combination of "ass" and "essential" together. Having a physical characteristic that makes a person's ass the best part of the person.

(tongue in cheek) Her assential qualities make up for her lack of personality.

assential errand

During 'shelter in place', essential errands are allowed. Does that mean booty calls are permissible? We shall call it.. . an assential errand.

..But officer, I'm trying to complete an assential errand.