Can't be assed

I really can't be bothered

My friends want to go to out tonight but i can't be assed

Can't be assed

Can't be bothered to get up.

Asznee: Let's go see mum.

Shaq: Nah man can't be assed

can't be assed

can't be bothered with

do you want to go out tonight?
No, I can't be assed

can't be assed

When you can't be bothered to do something.

Acronym: cba

I can't be assed to do the homework.

Another example:

I couldn't be assed to do the homework.

Can't find my ass

A state of being overwhelmed, especially when starting a new job. Or simply not being able to get a project, task, or assignment started due to either mass confusion or a lack of organization.

Joe: Wanna go to lunch man? Was thinking the noon buffet at the Men's Club. You in?
Cecil: Naa, started this new gig...I can't find my ass right now, so just working thru lunch I guess.
Joe: OK dude. Well, don't work too hard.

can't hit your ass with either hand

Unable to accomplish tasks.

You were supposed to finish that yesterday! I swear you can't hit your ass with either hand!