carrot

My friend once died in a car crash because he had too many carrots shoved up his ass. Carrots are murderers; if you eat or buy carrots you are gratifying a murderer.

Oh, what is that I hear? Is that THE CRUNCH OF A CARROT??
SPIT THAT OUT NOW YOU PSYCHOPATH!

....what the f-

I WILL AVENGE MY FALLEN FRIEND