hypocrite

Most ignorant black people nowadays.

Black guy 1: Yo ma nigga!
Black guy 2: Waddup ma nigga!
White guy: Hey niggers! :)
Black guys: >:( Man wajoo jus say?! Ima beatcho ass, mutha fucka!
White guy: Oh what the heck AHH!! Damn hypocrites!

26👍 19👎

golden voice

*Property of Ted Williams*

Ted Williams: From NBC News, this is Today with Matt Lauer, and Meredith Vieira.
Me: Dude, that guy's got a golden voice!

35👍 22👎

fastbreak

1.) An strategy in basketball, where the offense attempts to move the ball up court and into scoring position as quickly as possible, so that the defense is outnumbered and does not have time to set up.

2.) A recent addition (approximately 5-6 years ago) to the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup franchise, also called "Hershey Sidekick" in Canada (though Hershey has discontinued the candy as of September 2006 in Canada), the candy bar is coated with milk chocolate, and filled with a thick layer of peanut butter and soft nougat. Personally, I think it is perhaps the best candy ever, with its predecessor Peanut Butter Cups coming in a close second!

1.) Basketball player Michael Jordan made several fastbreaks in his prime.

2.)
Guy 1: Oh dude, I just had a Fastbreak; it's seriously the best candy EVAR!!!

Guy 2: Hell yeah!!

25👍 13👎

buttershoes

Everything is attractive about the girl... except the shoes

Guy 1: She's hot!
Guy 2: No, she's a buttershoes.
Guy 1: A what?
Guy 2: Buttershoes. Everything is hot, but her shoes.

20👍 14👎

snot mop

A mustache, sometimes unkempt and thick.

Guy 1: Dude get rid of your snot mop. It looks disgusting!
Guy 2: I can't help it. This is my kleenex, I'm too lazy to wipe my nose despite the fact that there's a kleenex box 2 feet away from me.
Guy 1: *facepalm*

20👍 8👎

roommate

Someone you live with in your dorm/apartment/house/suite etc. during your college-life, or real-world life. He/she will ultimately become either your greatest enemy or your best friend, though the latter has a slim chance of happening. IF you can avoid the first, find someone whom you 1) can bond with instantly 2) have share the same field of study (in college) or work, and 3) can trust. Keep in mind, however, that this privilege of choice more openly comes to you after your freshman year of college.

Dude 1: I hate my roommate. He's so shady, he "forgets" to pay his share of the bills, we're not in the same classes, and we never hang out! We have nothing in common!

Friend 2: Aw really? Well, my roommate's the exact opposite of yours, taking everything you said into account. He's awesome! You should come meet him!

Dude 1: For sure! Maybe us three can room together next year!

26👍 6👎

mid-session flush

Something you SHOULD do in order to avoid clogging your (or someone else's) toilet

wife: Honey, did you clog the toilet again?
husband: ...Yes. :(
wife: Ughh honey! If you eat too much, you always have to do a mid-session flush. You know that. Now get the plunger and unclog it.

18👍 5👎