red sox

aka The Shlocks or the Red Shlocks; a shlocky team supported by drunken, masochistic buffoons. Not to be confused with those other drunken, masochistic buffoons in Chicago - the Black, er, White Sox.

I think I'll have an Irish seven-course dinner and then try to sneak into the red sox game over at Fagway Park, er, I mean Fenway Puke. BTW, that is a little joke of a stadium - that whole green monster idiocy - no other team tries to pass off a half-built stadium in the major leagues. Add in the restricted view seats and the loud, obnoxious drunken louts and you have the makings of a waste of time and money.

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Mercenary

n. Mer'-suh-nerry, a contemporary American that lives out of total self-interest regardless of his/her impact on others. Totally driven to self-aggrandizement, but shallow, stupid, semi-literate and generally not interested in anything outside of shopping or self-promotion. Will eventually self-destruct by disappearing up own asshole.
Often found reading Us ("Pus") Magazine to find out what other degenerate fools do with their empty, pathetic lives.
Lacks sense of morality and decency. Essentially for sale to the highest bidder, regardless of consequences or prior purchased allegiances.
Will annihilate those perceived to threaten a mercenary's existence. Subtle undercurrent of destructive behaviour.
syn. Whore, Prostitute, Waste of space, suburban dweller, Californian
ant. person of integrity, person with a soul, decent human being

That Paris is such a mercenary. She doesn't know or care about anything except herself.
I was feeling like a mercenary so I hung around Worth Avenue all day carrying a snobby shopping bag.
Those Hessian Mercenaries got their butts kicked and then they went shopping to assuage their feelings of low self-worth.

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West Valley

the western part of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles County, including parts of LA like Woodland Hills and West Hills and the cities of Hidden Hills and Calabasas. Some people stretch that to include places like Agoura, Agoura Hills and Bell Canyon. Prone to hot summers and schadenfreude.
The West Valley embodies the various characteristics of the Valley in their most pronounced or severe forms, such as the deep-seated anxiety of the West Side wannabee and the shallow materialism of the 'all about me' citizenry.
The typical West Valley resident does not have the strength of character to deal with the pervasive affluenza. West Valley archetypes inclue the Birmingham bitch, the Taft crack and the El Camino asshole.

That West Valley girl was such a clothes whore but she wore the tackiest outfits.
I have to get those Douchebag (or fill in the blank for the flavor of the weak/week) jeans because all my West Valley friends wear them and I don't want to be uncool.
I desperately want to live on the West Side but I am stuck in the West Valley, therefore I despise the West Side.

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Agony of Defeat

Phrase originally made famous on the old ABC's Wide World of Sports show that aired on Saturday afternoons. A hapless ski jumper fell off the jump and had the misfortune to have that little video clip replayed about a zillion times over the years.
Antonym is Thrill of Victory

Bringing you the wide world of sports, where you can experience the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat all within the comfy confines of your living room.

He blew that $1,000 Nassau and then got fired for letting down the Chairman's team - talk about the agony of defeat.

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y chromosone

spelling of y chromosome by an illiterate moron

she flunked her biology mid-term and even spelled y chromosome wrong. That Twat is such a twit that she wrote down y chromosone.

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hollaback girl

quick-pornunciation version of Hollow-back Girl, meaning a female of easy virtue; one who spends a lot of time on her back

she was a hollaback girl and, boy, was she hollerin' in the back of my 57 Chevy as we tested out the suspension and upholstery - talk about yer tuck and roll

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maserati

a mythical cocktail made of unknown, or unknowable ingredients. Ordered by skiers after a day on the slopes. The exotic name evokes the sleek Italian sports car. Saying the name makes you think 'fast' and 'delicious'.

Nobody orders a maserati with a beer chaser.
Come up to my place and I'll make us some maseratis.

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