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twiphilus

The underlying condition that is the cause of tweet twitches. One contracts twiphilus through the creation of their twitter account. The condition may lie dormant for long periods of time and then erupt in a series of tweet twitches. The tweet twitches are highly likely to aggravate the twiphilus present in other twitter users who are following the twiphilus victim. There is neither a cure nor a treatment.

Sarah has a terrible case of twiphilus. I just checked my phone and I have 20 unread tweets from her. The worst part is I later realized that I responded to almost all of them without even realizing it.

by AmericanSwagSociety April 9, 2011


tandump

The act of one person taking a dump normally on a toilet while another person sits on their lap facing them and takes a dump through the space between the first persons legs.

A tandump can be performed either consensually or by ambush. In an ambush tandump, the assailant initiates a tandump by climbing over a stall wall and dropping down onto the unsuspecting pooper.

Ari: Hey Jacob, wanna take a tandump with me??
Jacob: Yeah of course! I call dibs on bottom!

************
Joe: Mike, why did you and Elaina break up?!?
Mike B: Her ex, Josh, told me that she really enjoyed tandumps, so I decided to surprise her with an ambush tandump! She threw up on me and threatened to call the police...

by AmericanSwagSociety December 9, 2010

48👍 2👎


TMSS

Too Much Swag Syndrome

When a person has so much swag that it interferes with their day to day life.

Symptoms range in severity and include (but are not limited to): incessant attention from members of the opposite sex, losing friends to jealousy, swollen pockets, an insufficient availability of contact entries in one's phone, and being discriminated against due to swag levels.

The causes of this new epidemic are not well established, but preliminary findings suggest that there may be a positive correlation between being raised in an inner city black neighborhood and the likelihood of developing this disorder.

Josh: So why is T.I. back in jail this time?
Joe: The FAA pressed charges against him for being too fly.
Josh: Dang, sounds like a bad case of TMSS...

by AmericanSwagSociety November 13, 2010

37👍 8👎


closet ninja

A person who looks and behaves like a completely normal person and is typically not physically imposing, that actually has profound skill in the martial arts without anyone knowing of it.

So I was walking home sort of late last night with Dan when four guys jumped us! While I was cowering on the ground I heard Dan make some Asian noises and a bunch of thuds in quick succession. Then there was silence for a few seconds followed by the sound four bodies hitting the ground. It turns out my brother Dan is a closet ninja.

by AmericanSwagSociety December 26, 2011

28👍 4👎