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An epicurean endeavor in which multiple gentlemen inhabiting the same hot tub comradely coax each otherâs members into climax. Or in the colloquial âjerk each other offâ. While a yacht is only a preferred venue, top hats and monocles are essential for the proper ambiance.
Gentleman1: I say!: after considering the rather dreary obligation of impregnating my own wife, I really could use a weekend of yacht clubbing!
Gentleman2: Hear! Hear! I second that!
Gentleman3: my apologies, but Iâm afraid I must decline. I feel it is not quite my cup of tea.
Gentleman2: poppycock! Iâll have you know that the Prescott family takes great pride in its many generations of caviar-drizzled dick rubs! Only the most unrefined of Philistines would turn his nose up at such decadence!
Gentleman1: My good sir! Has no one informed you? Itâs not gay, if youâre wearing a top hat!
A holiday alternative to Thanksgiving. Instead of pretending to enjoy gathering around a table to eat dry turkey, with judgmental relatives; No-Fucks-giving is about doing what you actually want to do, without giving any fucks to societal expectations. No-fucks-giving can be celebrated by doing things like getting together with people you actually like and barbecuing and drinking beer. Or even just sitting at home alone to eat pizza and play video games. Why not? Fuck it.
Sam: Ugh... I have to go to my girlfriendâs parents house for Thanksgiving... Itâs probably going to be a whole night of her dad trying to convince me to work at his office, and her mom trying to convert me to their religion...
Raul: Damn, you should make an excuse to get out of that shit and come celibate No-fucks-giving with us. Weâll be grilling, drinking, fighting and even lighting off illegal fireworks for some reason. Just come with a condom and an alias, and your good!
Sam:... yeah, that still sounds better than Thanksgiving. Iâm in.
The consumerism Holliday that took the place of the Christian Holliday of Christmas, in the same way that Christmas took the place of the pagan tradition of celebrating the winter solstice. Shitmas is celebrated by buying others excessive amounts of needless shit, with the goal of expressing the monetary value of your love, through the monetary value of your shit.
Ruth: hey Mark! How was your Shitmas?
Mark: Ah man! It was the best Shitmas yet! My family, friends and I all bought each other so much shit that we had to rent extra storage units, just to fit it all! Now I need to get a second job, to start paying off the debt!
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Any of the mind games that a person plays to convince themself and others that they are an innocent victim, rather than the insidious slutbag they really are. Psychological whorefare allows someone to continue there whoremongering behavior without guilt and at the expense of their partnerâs sanity and emotional wellbeing. Examples include, but arenât limited to:
1) Starting a fight, so they can break up with their partner for a weekend, for a one night stand, without it âtechnicallyâ being cheating. 2) Claiming that a close âfriendâ is just a friend and not a backup relationship, despite their obvious mutual attraction to each other, and HOW FUCKING DARE YOU QUESTION IT, YOU JEALOUS ASSHOLE!! 3) Testing their partnerâs love in ways which are meant to fail, thus justifying seeking attention from others. A common test is telling the partner to stay away, then later claiming that if the partner really cared, they would have come over anyway.
Tom: I miss you. I wish we spent more time together.
Jessica: Oh, so what?! Who do you think Iâm spending my time with?! Iâm sick of you calling me a slut!
Tom: What the?? I didnât call you a slut.
Jessica: Chandler and I are just friends, you jealous fuck!!
Tom: Chandler? Whoâs Chandler? Where did that even come from??
Jessica: You think Iâm the neighborhood cum-dumpster!!!Iâm sick of your accusations!!! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS HELL!!!
Tom: Iâve had enough of your psychological whorefare... Iâm going to the gym...
Jessica: He called me a slut and a cum-dumpster again.. (fakes crying)
Chandler: Iâm sorry baby. I would never treat you that way!
A rare phenomenon characterized by âwaves of wet womenâ amassing in the same place and the same time, with the explicit intent of human copulation. While some instances have been reported, very little evidence has ever been provided.
Guy1: Damn, dog! You should have gone to the club with me, last night! Shit got CRA-ZY!! It was a serious POONNAMI!!
Guy2: Aaah, youâre full of shit...