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The most supreme badass in the band. The bass clarinetist quickly becomes bored with his own parts and begins to learn other parts, instead. By ear. After a few weeks, the bass clarinetist can be heard switching between different parts of the song at will, and just generally being showing up soprano clarinetists.
Why do we even play? The bass clarinetist knows our parts better than we do...
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An instrument descended from heaven. Forged by God himself in the fires of Mt. Buffet with wood taken from the trees of the Garden of Eden, it is said that when one such instrument is played, storms dissipate and seas are calmed. In the hands of an expert, the Bass Clarinet's power can be weaponized, calling in lightning to crash down upon his enemies.
A holy weapon of mass destruction. We call it- the bass clarinet.
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