Rural Dictionary

Chav

Oh, my! A twelve year-old girl wearing a t-shirt proclaiming her status as a âslutâ. How tasteful. Mother would be so proudâ¦
Is she..? Yes, she is! A Chavette! Sorry, didnât spot it quickly enough â forgive me, Iâm blind.

Here are a few clues for Chav-spotters:

Girls (Chavettes, Sengas):
- Bling, and lots of it.
- Hoop earrings you could drive a bus through
- Hair pulled back so tight as to provide a facial expression of constant surprise
- At least three children trailing
- Smoking a fag â a little white stick poking out of your mouth really does make you look TERRIBLY sophisticated, dearâ¦
- Talking on a mobile
- Wearing a variety of coins/Christmas cracker rings on fingers
- Cow-eyed look in eyes
- Skin as white as death, with blue tinges here and there (occasional purple and yellow ones too, from constant spousal abuse) and a red nose from smoking/drinking too much
- Skirt pulled up to just below the hair-line (please God donât EVER let it get any higher)
- Fat Chavettes â without exception - sport tight, too-short tops that would put even the hardiest person off their meal, and trousers that expose a crack minging enough to put a plumber to shame
- Throws litter/gum/cigarette butts onto the pavement/bus floor

Boys
- Baseball caps on (but probably donât know what baseball is)
- Hair so short it could pop balloons
- Fewer teeth than a Shanghai hobo
- Tiny, skinny frame laden with heavy fake-gold
- Cheap nylon track-suits
- Smoking a fag (of course) and spitting at passers-by
- Usually found sitting on the top of a park bench or a wall in the town centre
- Ears near the back of their necks, a particularly endearing genetic malformation
- Always mock-fighting with fellow Chavs, possibly to intimidate onlookers
- In vehicles that are horribly unroadworthy, and which generally have no engine. The booming bass from the shite they listen to provides enough momentum

Classless, no-mannered, ugly, aggressive, incredibly stupid wastes of flesh. They need to be lined up and shot.

Theyâve contaminated the gene-pool. Quick â deploy the napalm!

by BLITZKRIEG October 19, 2004

1530👍 316👎

f2t

Chav

blitzkrieg