womans rights

The ability to act like shameless crack whores and arrogant liberal bitches and call it equality.

Example of womans rights to choose
Man:"Can I help ya change that tire,mam?"
Woman:"Don't you think I'm capable of doing it myself?"
Man:*astonished*
Man:"Actually,no,seeing as how your 5'1",got the jack backwards and in the wrong place,and those lug nuts are rusted pretty good...;But go ahead prove me wrong."

Alternate Example:

Man:"Can I help ya change that tire,mam?"
Woman:"Don't you think I'm capable of doing it myself?"
Man:*astonished*
Man:"Listen here u dumbass cunt,I just got off work,am tired and dirty,but I stopped anyway to see if I could help;Apparently not so fuck you."*drops tire iron,leaves*

201👍 162👎

Pucker Factor

The pucker factor is a scale by which someone can assign a numerical value,from one to ten,to an occurance or encounter that frightens or terrifies.
This describes the level of reaction of the sphincter during times of crisis.
NOTE:A Pucker Factor of 10 can only be truly achieved upon death or dismemberment.

"G'damn dwarf came up on me in the dark,I thought it was that mean-ass dog for a second,gave me a pucker factor of bout 5.9"
NOTE: This happened to me recently.

"HOLY SHIT,that dude parachuted into a GAWDAMN ALLIGATOR FARM!"
NOTE:There is little doubt the parrachutist reached a PF of 10 easily,perhaps the entire way down.

97👍 23👎

mornin fuglies

The realization upon wakening after a night of drinking that the partner of choice you lucked upon last night,in the clear light of day is in reality fugly.
This condition is not as serious as a coyote wakening,however,it is responsible for a large number of lies and a usually rapid exit from the environs.

Dude1:"damn dude,you were wasted last night."

Dude2:"yeah,and I had the mornin fuglies...I was sneakin out early when the scag woke so I told her I was going to find us some breakfast."

2👍 5👎

wood shampoo

An occurence by which a person is beaten about the head and shoulders with a nightstick or other wooden club.

"HAW HAW HAW,that nigga resisted arrest,and got a wood shampoo for his troubles."

245👍 45👎

mouthfull of spiders

A descriptive term used to mean something particularly nasty,bad or horrendous.

"G'damn,that was as much fun as a mouthfull of spiders."

"Jesus,I'd rather have a mouthfull of spiders than to kiss her scaggly ass."

5👍 7👎

momma slappin

A term used to describe something so wonderfull that it would be worth any sort of heinous action.

Dude1:"God amighty man,he sold me that Sig Sauer for a mere 300 beans."

Dude2:"Sheeit,that's a MOMMA SLAPPIN deal if I ever heard a one!"

4👍 7👎