slag rag

Mouldy, torn bit of flannel used post-coitally by dirty slappers for 'mopping up' various copious liquids after incidents of explosive sexual union. Used predominantly by a Samantha (hehe).

Having blown him off but miscalculating the arc of his sexual effusions, Mary reached for her slag rag and wiped the residual bollock-chutney from her cheeks...

Pass us the slag rag, will you? There's a good lad.

Jemima: "gosh, what I really need now is a slag rag"
<Goebbels passes Jemima a slag rag>
Jemima: "Thanks, Goebbels"

No, I said use the hand towel to dry your face, not the slag rag!

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Pubix Cube

The distressingly painful consequences of playing with a rubix cube at waist height whilst naked. It is said that the pubic hair region becomes inextricably entangled in the cube structure, leaving the unhappy pubix cuber to cut himself or herself free or to take up the new challenge of solving the pubix cube and thereby extricating themself from pubic dismemberment!
N.B. this is a very close relative of the similar-sounding Cubix Pube:

Cubix Pube - what you find in a Rubix Cube after the person who played with it before you suffered from a Pubix Cube.

Bertrand: "I say, Henrietta, why are you bent double over a pair of scissors?"
Henrietta: "Why, Bertie, my darling, I've managed to give myself another fucking pubix cube"
Bertrand: "Oh Vadge!!!"
Henrietta: "Yes, the pain is unbearably pubiquitous"

Q: How long does it take to solve a pubix cube?
A: Fucking ages, mate.

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