Corpocuck

A corpocuck is typically an American who cucks out to corporations. Usually brainwashed into believing that outsourcing manufacturing, breaking down unions, and importing low wage tech workers is what makes America great. You can spot them oftentimes on LinkedIn, giving out advice while they themselves aren’t successful or reposting motivational memes.

A corpocuck is usually middle class, has a university education, and works in the private sector making 35-55k a year living in a city that taxes them half of that while rent and food eats up the rest. A corpocuck watches corporate media like Fox News or CNN, probably read, “7 habits of highly successful teens,” has been posting “Stay Home” stories on Instagram about quarantine by regurgitating facts, and is usually in a job that has literally zero tangible effect on the world.

A corpocuck is absolutely stoked about deciding between a Orange Rapist and a Senile Rapist competing to sit in the Oval Office. A corpocuck really cares about the stock market, despite having no stocks himself / herself, and prides himself on the $70 Lacoste shirts he buys from China.

M: “Hey, did you see Josh’s LinkedIn post about how we need to increase immigration, while complaining about how his 4,000th job application was rejected?”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck”

M: “did you hear Matt pays $1500 a month to live in a literal ghetto and drive 45 minutes one way to an animation studio in Hollywood that pays him 35k a year, after blowing 240k on college?”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck”

M: “did you hear about how Remy’s new engineering job at Disney pays 50k a year?”
J: “uhh, no, but that’s okay I guess. You’d think an engineer on the west coast would make more tbh.”
M: “yeah, to celebrate he got a brand new Tesla lease, while he’s still on his old Honda lease, and bought himself a new computer for WoW! Now there’s some trouble paying the rent tho, so he’s moving back home.”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck”

M: “Ramone said you’re a lazy communist because you think Jeff Bezos is an asshole.”
J: “Jesus Christ, what a corpocuck. Ramone’s a 35 year old man that lives with his mom, has been unemployed since he left the marines after a tour in a warehouse in Nebraska a decade ago, has lived off the GI Bill since and has yet to complete a single college class.”

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Boomercrat

A Boomercrat is a white American boomer that was born in the 50’s or 60’s, has voted Democrat their entire life, and is completely okay with their party hyperfocusing on whimsical issues at the expense of their children’s’ futures. A Boomercrat would accuse you of racism if you complained about outsourcing or illegal immigration, while happily allowing racist policies to keep his children from attending the same school he attended.

A Boomercrat would fixate on trans’ bathroom rights, while the middle class is getting destroyed, and think they’re revolutionary thinkers for agreeing with what multi-billion dollar media corporations tell them to think. A Boomercrat would call themselves leftists but meltdown at the slightest critique of capitalism, instead just preferring that America had more angry woke black people, shitty rock music, and painted VW buses.

A boomercrat grew up so epically privileged, that their lack of vigilance has allowed America to become steaming dogshit. A boomercrat bought a $10,000 house in 1975, and is sitting on a $1,000,000 property today, wondering why these darn kids aren’t investing their money like he did. What a Boomercrat fears most though is losing their six figure public pension, which they worked hard to earn doing nothing behind a desk for two decades.

A Boomercrat is essentially a lottery winner who didn’t have to even buy their lottery ticket, and has tried to offset all their expensive policies on younger taxpayers.

L: “Did you hear Kyle’s mom thinks your racist for saying, “fuck China?”
J: “... no, I didn’t, not that I care either about what a Boomercrat has to say...”

L: “did you know my parents got their home for $5000 and just sold it for $2,000,000? They’ve been teaching me their wise ways lately!”
J: “no, I didn’t and idk why you’d want to take advice from some Boomercrat who accidentally made millions sitting on their ass.”

Lanklord

Typically a white male who is very lanky, while being very tall (6’4-6’7). The Lanklord is always the tall man in his friend group and routinely pulls plenty of girls, despite being seemingly unattractive from an objective standpoint to any straight male nearby. The Lanklord has usually not worked out much, if at all, and if he has a good face, will usually pull 7-9’s easily, while if he has a bad face, will still pull 4-7’s with no problem.

The Lanklord is essentially a giraffe that doesn’t have to try at all, and usually has a series of short relationships given that he has no need to compromise. When the Lanklord dies at 45 from heart conditions or muscular atrophy, several of his bro friends will attend the funeral, mumbling about how their silent giraffe of a friend absolutely killed it in college.

M: “Matt has probably banged at least 70 girls, and a good amount of them are hot.”
J: “... he’s not even attractive though, doesn’t give a shit about anything... and he just waves them over. When I do the same thing I get weird looks or ignored.”
M: “well, he is a lanklord”

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MiliTard

A MiliTard is usually a cuckservative or Boomercrat who worships the ground that veterans walk on. Their adoration for our troops extends to the segments of the military that basically do the bitch jobs that you’d find at 7/11, which winds up enabling the lowest common denominators of veterans to milk their time doing push-ups for federal minimum wage as much as possible.

A MiliTard will do everything in their power to justify the shitty things that dumb men do after their time in service runs out, often bestowing privileges on them and chalking up their failures to PTSD.

J: “wow, Bob the Veteran raped six kids overseas, got discharged, wound up raping several women at a frat party of a college he barely got admitted into as a 28 year old alcoholic.”
MiliTard: “well, you can’t judge him for that. Have you ever even served before?”
J: “uhh, no, why?”
MiliTard: “then you simply don’t know what you’re talking about. War does something to a man’s mind and you just wouldn’t get it. I suggest you know your place here, because I’m not going to standby and watch our heroes get degraded.”
J: “uhh, one of those girls Bob raped was your daughter though.”
MiliTard: “well, I’ve already spoken to her about not reporting veterans in the future. If we can enjoy our freedoms, my daughter can at least enjoy a little surprise dick.”

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Veterunt

A veterunt is a military veteran who’s only accomplishment is being a veteran, regardless of how they were discharged. These men typically were 5,000-10,000 miles away from the nearest stray bullet, are paid federal minimum wage for at most four years to do push-ups and walk in formation, and had a job that people would ask, “what are you doing with your life,” if they worked in the real world.

These veterunts typically abuse the system to avoid working for years, talk about their time in uniform at any available opportunity, and will go out of their way to mention it to anyone that’ll listen. They usually are unaccomplished in real life, talk about their glory days licking the shit off some Sargent’s boots, and given that you are what you eat, are generally giant sacks of shit.

M: “hey, did you hear about Dino got kicked out of the Air Force?”
J: “no, I don’t really listen to veterunts”
M: “well, he drank 20 shots of vodka, got busted drunk driving in Italy, and got sent home”
J: “so how’s he paying for anything, if he hasn’t worked in 6 years?”
M: “oh, well, he is on the GI Bill and twisted his ankle while playing basketball on a military base, so he gets disability.”
J: “wow, what a giant sack of shit”
Veterunt: “HEY DON’T TALK ABOUT VETERANS THAT WAY. I DID NOT RISK DEATH STANDING AROUND A BASE IN NEBRASKA FIGHTING FOR YOUR FREEDOM TO RETURN BACK FROM MY TOUR OF DUTY TO HEAR COMMIES TRASH TALKING US!”
M + J: “... .... ...”

Collegecuck

Usually a girl, although there are soyboys who fall into this category, that spend too much money on college getting a shit degree and not making any lasting friendships or even partying. A collegecuck is perfectly content with working at a job she could’ve gotten out of high school after college, after submerging herself in enormous amounts of debt. A collegecuck will occasionally decide to get a master’s in her useless degree, in the hopes of teaching her useless knowledge to other idiots.

A hardcore collegecuck will get a PhD in philosophy or English, wind up as an adjunct professor with hundreds of thousands in debt, lecturing to bored freshmen who just want to get their GEs out of the way. A normal collegecuck will just become a Bernie Sanders supporter ordinarily, working at Starbucks and harassing conservacucks on the Internet and occasionally in their workplace in their spare time.

Debby: “I’m the most educated person here, so I just can’t care.”
Kyle: “i mean, if your degree mattered, you’d only need a bachelors but instead, you went the collegecuck route”
Debby: “WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT???!!!”