Veterunt

A veterunt is a military veteran who’s only accomplishment is being a veteran, regardless of how they were discharged. These men typically were 5,000-10,000 miles away from the nearest stray bullet, are paid federal minimum wage for at most four years to do push-ups and walk in formation, and had a job that people would ask, “what are you doing with your life,” if they worked in the real world.

These veterunts typically abuse the system to avoid working for years, talk about their time in uniform at any available opportunity, and will go out of their way to mention it to anyone that’ll listen. They usually are unaccomplished in real life, talk about their glory days licking the shit off some Sargent’s boots, and given that you are what you eat, are generally giant sacks of shit.

M: “hey, did you hear about Dino got kicked out of the Air Force?”
J: “no, I don’t really listen to veterunts”
M: “well, he drank 20 shots of vodka, got busted drunk driving in Italy, and got sent home”
J: “so how’s he paying for anything, if he hasn’t worked in 6 years?”
M: “oh, well, he is on the GI Bill and twisted his ankle while playing basketball on a military base, so he gets disability.”
J: “wow, what a giant sack of shit”
Veterunt: “HEY DON’T TALK ABOUT VETERANS THAT WAY. I DID NOT RISK DEATH STANDING AROUND A BASE IN NEBRASKA FIGHTING FOR YOUR FREEDOM TO RETURN BACK FROM MY TOUR OF DUTY TO HEAR COMMIES TRASH TALKING US!”
M + J: “... .... ...”