portugal

A banana-republic kind of place.
Corruption,poverty, no light at the end of the tunnel...
Barely located in Europe...but the poor and no prospects one.

Guy 1: What? 10 new football statiums but no civilized-world health care services??
Guy 2: It's Portugal my friend.

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Tickling the Turtle

Definition 1: The act of female masturbation.

Definition 2: The act of teasing faeces out ones faeces with their thumb and index finger, while constipated.

Definition 3: Where both acts are combined with the aid of a partner.

Example: My girlfriend hasn't taken a shit in over a week and she wants me to help her with Tickling the Turtle.

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