titstracted

When you unintentionally drop out of a conversation, drive into oncoming traffic, or run over the neighbor's cat with your lawnmower because your attention was drawn away by a beautiful woman and/or perfect tits. The male equivalent to dickstracted.

I got so titstracted when I saw Amber Rose at the mall that I tripped into a twenty-minute fall down the up escalator.

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Scaramucci

Slang (inspired by White House Communications Director & Trump sycophant Anthony Scaramucci) used to describe someone who is the greasiest, ugliest, most repulsive & untrustworthy creature imaginable. This is someone who would sell his own grandmother for the chance to press his scaly lips against Trump's asshole. Only human by the barest of requirements.

I'm surprised that Scaramucci in accounting has any time for actual work, considering how often I see him on his knees in front of upper management.

What the deal with the Scaramucci waiting tables here? I always thought restaurants kept them in back, washing dishes, so they wouldn't scare away customers.

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trut

The motion of a morbidly obese person attempting to run.

Oprah ran out of Slim Jims right before her big party, so she had to trut on down to the store to re-stock.

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hillbilly weekend

Refers to a weekend (or other extended period of liesure time) spent with "just the guys," for the purpose of fishing, hunting, card playing, etc., that inadvertantly
culminates with sexual acts with each other, always with the stipulation of no homo before the act.

Tim, Billy, Gordon, and I are leaving for a hillbilly weekend on Friday. I can't wait -- ever since Stacy left me last month, I feel like I'm gonna explode. My arm fucking hurts...

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four-toothed cousin-fucker

A generic term for anyone who flies the Southern Cross, supports Donald Trump, drives a mud-encrusted monster truck, has less than a high school education, and/or actually enjoys sexual relations with family members -- as in Donald Trump's lust for his own daughter.

This stupid fuck at work still believes that Obama is a Muslim who wasn't born in the U.S. That four-toothed cousin-fucker shouldn't be allowed to vote. Or breed.

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doorknob

Someone who has frequent sex, with anyone who will stoop low enough to fuck them, regardless of physical appearance and/or hygiene.

"So I heard you're dating that new waitress..."
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, she's a doorknob -- everyone gets a turn. I tagged her twice last month. I saw your dad coming out of her apartment yesterday."

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scunge

A compound word of scum and grunge, referring to a slimy-textured area of filth.

I was at the Iggy Azalea concert last night. She bent over right in front of me -- I've never seen scunge like that.

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