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What a man does when he sits down to pee.
Man 1: "That dude was in the stall for like 10 seconds. No way he was dumping."
Man 2: "He wasn't, just urilaxing. He's hungover."
The point in life when you can clearly see that one ball hangs lower than the other.
The 30's sucked. First time I had to wear glasses, gained about 20 pounds and developed ABD (Advanced Ball Discrepancy).
Yell typing. Pounding on the keyboard extra hard because your yelling what you're typing. Not to be confused with Yelping, searching for restaurants on Yelp.
Damn, she must be mad at whoever she's writing to. I can hear her yellping from all the way over here.
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Not being able to leave your stall after taking a crap in a public bathroom as others are still in the bathroom. Usually over the fear of people knowing it was you that stunk up the whole room.
(Text) Friend: "Dude, where you at? Been waiting in the parking lot for 5 mins!" You: "Sorry man, I'm crap trapped. Should be able to exit soon."
having sex with a girl with a smelly pussy
Guy 1: "yo, my dick stinks. can't get the smell off me since hookin' up with stinky Lisa." Guy 2: "well that's what you get for plunging the toilet."
The guy in the office who uses his fingers to rip off a piece of a muffin, bagel or donut from what was brought in for the office to share, and puts what's left of it back onto the plate, as if anyone would ever eat the rest.
Person #1: Hey, who put this half eaten donut back on the plate? Person #2: Who do you think, of course, the office dick.
When immediately after sex you cannot remember why it was you decided to have sex with this person in the first place. Experienced more by men, but not exclusively. This is not a medical emergency as the symptoms typically fade within 24 hours at which time you want to have sex with that person again.
Seconds after sex...
Girl to Boy: Hey, that was amazing. You're so hot!
Boy to Girl: Who are you and how did I get here?
Girl to Boy: Oh no, bad case of Sexual Amnesia. Here's my number, call me tomorrow.