giggle bits

(gig-uhl bitz)
-noun

Uncontrollable laughter that manifests in stuttering bursts. Not to be confused with gigabits.

"Looks like someone has a major case of the giggle bits..."
"Please make it stop! Hahaha! Oooo, my abs hurt!"
"It wasn't THAT funny."

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hilair

(high-lair)
-adj.

Describing a super funny situation or occurrence. Often used by airheads or valley girls in cliques. Occasionally used by ghettofied bourgeoisie or people too lazy and dumb to pronounce the full word "hilarious".

"Hey Sher, like oh-emm-gee. That story was totally hilair, for sure."

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crotch crumb

1. A bitter old geezer intolerant of other people having fun.
2. Literally: Crusty build-up around the genitals due to a nasty lack of personal hygiene. Not to be confused with crotch crickets.

Old man: "Go away! Celebrations are for sissies. If I had it my way, I'd put all of you runts in the slammer!"
Jake: "What's his problem?"
Bobby: "Don't mind him, he's just being a crotch crumb..."

Jane: "Would you rather dive into a pool of snot, or sleep with 'funky Jake'?"
Jenny: "Eww, gross! I hear he's got a major grody case of crotch crumb."

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gaggle slapped

(gag-gull slapped)
-adj.

1. Shocked at being slapped by someone you would least expect it from. The resulting astonished reaction is usually more intense than the physical pain.

2. The equivalent of being emotionally gagged. Caught completely off guard to the point of not knowing how to respond. Speechless.

"I can't believe I was gaggle slapped! He used to be such a sweet boy... what happened to him?"

"I never expected her to react that way. I felt like dying right then and there. Completely gaggle slapped... now what do I do?"

swivel tits

(swiv-uhl tits)
-noun

1. A decorative pair of ceramic birds mounted on a rotating platform.

2. Unsightly pendulous sagging breasts often due to the combination of gravity and aging.

"You'll never believe what I picked up from the garage sale. Look, swivel tits!"

"Don't go in there! There is an old lady prancing around naked in the locker room. I just saw her swivel tits, and now I am scarred for life..."

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jackstab

(jack-stab)
-verb

Literally stabbing an unsuspecting victim in the back.

"I wouldn't walk through the ghetto at night if I were you. You might get jackstabbed."

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hat trickery

(hat trik-er-ree) -noun

The act of being seduced or enticed into a sexually promising situation that ends in deceit, often with loss of monetary funds and dignity.

"Dude, the last time I hired an escort during a business trip, she promised me a hat trick. Instead, I woke up handcuffed to the bed with my money, passport, and suitcase stolen! Not falling for that hat trickery ever again!"

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