futilitarian

When straightforward design veers sharply off track and spins out of control due to the temptation to add increasing numbers of non-essential features, the basic direction and even function of the design can suffer. This is the basis of futilitarian design.

The Jeep is a small, tough, agile and cheap light scouting vehicle. Its replacement, the HMMWV, is large, expensive and easy to high-center. This is a prime example of a futilitarian vehicle.

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couth up

/ko͞oTH uhp/
Verb: To become polite, or 'watch your mouth,' usually stated as a warning or demand.

(In the presence of a dignitary)
A: I gotta go take a piss.
B: Hey, couth up.

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old chestnut

An idea or subject, usually flawed, which perpetually resurfaces in conversation despite having been discussed to death long ago.

A: If evolution is real then how come we never see monkeys turn into humans, huh?
B: Oh god, not that old chestnut...

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Trog

An abbreviation of "troglodyte," which means "one who lives under a rock." Originally referring to individuals of low wit and hostile chauvinistic values, the term has more recently come to be ironically abused by racists and sexists. Also used as a racist term for orcs and trolls in the shared universe setting of Shadowrun - possibly the basis of the redefinition of this word.

The word "trog" is primarily used by trogs, but they don't know that.

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load bearing monster

A fantasy/sci-fi cliche, wherein the defeat of a given villain triggers the catastrophic destruction of its immediate environment, ie: the dungeon collapses, the planet explodes, the spacecraft implodes into the 37th dimension, etc.

Game Master: "The giant falls dead, but just as you think you're safe you feel the floor of the cavern begin to shake and rumble ominously."

Player: "Aw crap, he's a load bearing monster! Loot the body and run!"

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Wiarton Willie

An albino groundhog who lived in Wiarton, Ontario, famed for prognosticating the end of winter on Groundhog Day. Found in an advanced state of decomposition in February of 1999, Wiarton Willie was was given a grand funeral wherein a plush toy stood in for his body. A replacement (Wee Willie) was later sought out, and a limited edition Beanie Baby was released. A statue of Willie, situated in a harbourside park in Wiarton, is said to look like an erect penis from the harbour. The entire history of Wiarton Willie is doused in oddity and shenanigans.

I went down to the harbour to see that statue of Wiarton Willie; yeah, I see what you're talking about.

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Norwegian alligator dong flop

A sexual act in which the male jumps off a 40 foot ladder, rebounds from a trampoline into a vat of curdled mayonaisse, checks to see if the editors are paying any smegging attention whatsoever to the fabricated juvenile sexual horse crap added to this dictionary daily by giggling 14 year old dimwits, then swims out to perform fellatio on a Chevy Nova. Include the word "anus," an act of random spousal abuse, puerile slander or other general troglodytism for bonus credibility.

This slang dictionary is so packed with Norwegian alligator dong flops by now that browsing it has become dull, offensive and uninformative.

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