Colon Crockpot

The end result of too much procrastipating (wasting time by sitting on the shitter) until after an excessive amount of time you realize that you didn't actually shit, but now it's too late and you have to get off the pot (ttl;cs - took too long, couldn't shit) just before you turn into a HPC-DB (human pressure cooker - dirty bomb) you first go through the stage known as the "Colon Crockpot"

If he didn't make it home soon, the pungent aroma leaking out of his Colon Crockpot wasn't the only thing that will be leaking out!

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tiger

A cougar with stretch marks.

He had gone to the Legion to do some Cougar hunting, but after seeing her stretch marks after accidentally turning on the lights, he realized he'd been caught by a Tiger