Random
Source Code
Random
A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
210π 14π
A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
Is that fat guy having a fit?
No, he's just doing a Pork Scotch dance. Ridiculous ain't it?
206π 14π
A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
174π 37π
What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
20π 5π
Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?
They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
257π 55π
A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
Who's the gimp with the Pork Scotch Moustache?
That's Pork Scotch, the fat, ugly security guard.
201π 13π
A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
190π 20π