USMC

United States Marine Corps.

Currently operating as their own branch of the US Military, the USMC was originally infantry for the US Navy. What is not commonly known (even among Marines) is that to this day the USMC is still officially part of the Navy. While they may operate independently of the Navy, the USMC has never technically been made its own branch.

Generally, Marines tend to despise the Navy (as well as the Army and Air Force) and its members, regarding them as inferior. This being the case, pointing out that the USMC is part of the Navy is often the simplest way to anger a Marine. Angering a Marine can be very funny or very stupid. Do so at your own risk.

The USMC is technically, officially, and administratively part of the Navy.

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South Beach Diet

The Atkins diet for dummies.

Dr. Atkins said you should eat nutrient rich carbs instead of nutrient deficient carbs. This appears to be a simple idea, yet apparently figuring out that this means eating spinach instead of potatoes or broccoli instead of corn is akin to rocket science for the unwashed masses. So in comes the South Beach Diet, which is exactly the same except it breaks everything down into "good carbs" and "bad carbs".

Anyone who thinks the South Beach Diet is different than Atkins is an idiot.

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midwife

A non-medical professional with no training who "helps" babies be born.

While midwives fell greatly in favor in the past due to modern medicine, they are currently experiencing a slight comeback because hippies are stupid.

"We're thinking about hiring a midwife for our baby instead of a licensed medical doctor."
"Enjoy your stillbirth."

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MineCraft

Second Life for Atari.

Minecraft: When NES-era graphics are just too good.

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RENT

A play about a bunch of self-obsessed jackasses who whine about not having any money for food, heat, or rent while simultaneously whining about how they're too good to get jobs to support themselves. The supposed 'villain' of the play is the one guy who goes out, gets a job and--get this--has the nerve to SELL the building that they live in just because they haven't paid their rent in a year and they've turned the building into a drug distribution center/whorehouse/flophouse for the homeless, even though he was only letting them stay there at drastically reduced rent out of the goodness of his heart and for the sake of their friendship.

This play is very popular with young, pretentious assholes.

Have you seen RENT? It's life changing.

Yeah I saw it. Since when is getting a job and using protection during sex a bad thing?

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Vegan Diet

A diet consisting only of vegans.

With the Vegan Diet, you can help your health and the world by eating more vegans!

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stump jumper

Insulting term for a hick or redneck. Implies they breed within their family tree, or "jump the stump". Often used by other hicks/rednecks, to mark one as the lowest of the low.

Jethro's a filthy stump jumper.

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