Longhander

(noun) A person who, when typing online, uses full-length words and sentences as opposed to the abbreviations and acronyms common to online speech.

A World of Warcraft chat between a 1337speak user and a longhander:
Xxleggolaszxx: hai d00d sup
Trollski: Not much, really. Questing here and there. Yourself?
Xxleggolaszxx: lmao u said urself roflmao
Trollski: I use proper English. Hilarious.
Xxlegolaszxx: ur such a n00b u want some hawt pr0nz0rz?
Trollski: No, I don't want any frickin' prawns. I don't eat shellfish. Leave me alone.
*long pause*
Xxlegolaszxx: stfu n00b horde sux azz lolz0rz
Trollski: You doofus.

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Crulge

noun: The unsightly bulge appearing in the crotch of pants when one sits down. Looks like an erection, but isn't--just bunched loose fabric. Also known as a fauxner.

Sebastian was completely oblivious to the presence of an unsightly crulge in his jeans until Claire surreptitiously pointed it out to him.

"Dude! Smooth out your crulge before Anne comes in or she'll think you're a total creep!"

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Faggot

1. A bundle of sticks.
2. A type of meatball found in Britain.
3. British slang for cigarettes.
4. A derogatory insult implying homosexuality.

Dave: Hey, Stan, do you want to gather a faggot so I can cook up some faggots with this faggot? *points* No offense, Sir Elton.
Elton John: None taken.
Stan: Yeah. I'll grab some faggots while I'm out.
Dave: Cool!

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Chodemobile

noun: A trophy car driven by pretentious douchebags (chodes) who want to show it off. This applies to giant gas-guzzlers, pimp rides, and uber-expensive "green cars." If the car is not being actively flaunted, this definition doesn't apply.

Look, there's Old Man Caruthers in his Hummer. What a chodemobile.

Douche: "Hey, guys, check out my Prius. It gets waaay better mileage than your cars."
Guy (to other guy): "Yeah, but it's a chodemobile.