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Random
What happens on your favorite internet forum or chat group right about 3pm in the afternoon. All the sudden you notice everyone is gone and you are all alone. Then you realize why. It's time for everyone to spend the last two hours of the workday actually producing something to justify their continued existence as an employee. Occurs for stay at home parents too, it's the point where they realize they better clean the house and throw in a load of close to justify their continued existence as a non-employee.
Adapted for the preteen and teen set: What happens around 10pm when all your friends had to get offline so their parents will think they are actually going to bed and to sleep, resolves in about an hour.
"Holy crap, there were 10 people here a second ago, where'd they all go? Oh, it's 3pm already. Man this day went by fast. I hate temporary online friendlessness. I guess I had better get some work done before I go home."
Jack: I know what you mean.
Angelica: I
Jack: What?
Jack: Where'd you go?
Jack: Oh, it's 10pm, I'm going to get something and be right back, come back when your parents think you are in bed.
Jack: I am not deterred by temporary online friendlessness.
4π 2π
When you would have gotten a speeding ticket, had it not been for being stuck behind someone going slow.
I was late and road raging so bad until we passed the speed trap, then I was glad to be stuck behind that jerk driving so damn slow, he was my ticket savior.
1π 1π
When a car is driving ahead of you and just a little faster than you.
See that red car up there? He's my radar detector.
That Toyota just got pulled over, I had better slow down until I find myself another radar detector.
17π 4π
A status update or tweet that gives half information about a potentially catastrophic event in a persons personal life, that causes others to respond with urgency even though they have no idea what happened. Both components are required: the narcissist who teases the information to draw lots of attention and the sympathy whores who take the bait.
Facebook status update: "Just got out of the hospital, I can't believe what happened to me."
Debra: "OMG, what happened?"
Sue: "Are you okay? What happened?"
Sally: "I'm here for you as always"
Jan: "I'm praying for you and your family"
Joe: "Out with the story already, stop it with the narcissympathy."
Initial Tweet: "Fingers cross, waiting on my test results."
Debra: "OMG, what happened?"
Sue: "Are you okay? What happened?"
Sally: "I'm here for you as always"
Jan: "I'm praying for you and your family"
Joe: "That sounds kind of personal. But I guess you must have needed your narcissympathy fix."
7π 1π
Setting up personal boundaries with another person, particularly when you've been disrespected up to that point. Combat boots are needed to kick some ass. These combat boots are often worn by women to put another woman in her place.
His ex-girlfriend keeps showing up when we go out and trying to get his attention, next time we go out I'm wearing my combat boots.
He's bringing that bimbo to our kids parent-teacher conference. She has no business there. I'm coming too and I'll be wearing combat boots.
2π 1π
A delusional stepmom who has zero understanding of what her role is supposed to be.
The crazy overstepping stepmom wanted to prove she was just as good as that the kids' mother, so at the first opportunity she signed up for mommy and me classes, bought a shirt that said Worlds Best Mom and told the kids, "Just call me mom, I'm like practically the same thing."
Sue: Look that mom over there breastfeeding, isn't that sweet.
Jane: Hey, I know her, she's that child's crazy overstepping stepmom!
Dad: You know honey, you are so great I think you ought to just replace my ex-wife altogether.
New Wife: Great, I'll sign up for the PTA tomorrow, can I take little Janie to get her ears pierced?
Dad: You're perfect, there's no other crazy overstepping stepmom like you.
16π 9π
Sexual intercourse engaged in to make up for having missed opportunities for sex. The missed sex could be due to your partner traveling, or being too busy, or having a fight. This is different than make-up sex. With make-up sex there is one sex act which accomplishes the goal. With catch-up sex you have to compensate for all the sex you missed having.
Wife: That was really good sex.
Husband: Yes, but we'll need to do it again in 2 hours.
Wife: Why on earth?
Husband. We were mad at each other for a week. We would have had sex 5 times in that week. We have four more to go.
Wife: Oh yeah, catch-up sex.
Joe: Hey want to go to the driving range tomorrow?
John: No, I can't. I have to stay home with my wife all weekend.
Joe: Honey-do list?
John: Sort of. I was out of town for two weeks straight, tomorrow is dedicated to catch-up sex. I have to honey-do her a lot.
16π 3π