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Random
When a gay man is masturbauting and the only visual assistance he needs is the view of himself jerking off.
I'm excited for a night of selferotication.
The signal that your body sends you that lets you know to shit within the next 10 minutes or your gonna shit yourself.
I was in the middle of the football game when I got a shit alert
The signals that your body sends you to tell you to poop.
I was getting shit signals in the middle of the big game.
When you are on the toilet and push really hard; a fart opens the butt hole and a turd shoots out so fast that you don't feel it crown.
I pushed so really hard and I shot aircannon. It shot out so fast that the splash back got in my anus before it closed.
When you are so horny that you can jerk off to just about anything.
My parents walked in on me desperate bating to a lamp.
When your girl makes you wear a condom while she is giving you a blow job.
My girl is really into head safety
When you live stream on Instagram and only one person is watching.
I was live streaming the other day and there was some Instagram facetime going on.