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A McMopper is the very awkward mentally retarded person who sweeps up the floors and mops up after obese people leave messes all over McDonalds.
Although a McMopper is usually a nice person who wouldn't hurt a fly with his filthy little hands, he IS very socially awkward, and he insists on making eye contact with everyone, and saying HELLO strangely loud.
The problems that McMoppers cause far overshadow any small good they achieve in a 3 1/2 hour Tard shift at a McDonalds near you. For some people who are highly tolerant McMoppers are not much of a problem, but to the rest of us they are an unnecessary distraction while we stuff our dirty face holes with half rotten beef liver scraps that have been pressed into burger shaped patties and stuffed into a bun with special sauce.
Me: "Fucking Dammit Shit-Covered Dickass I just made eye-contact with that McMopper."
Willy (McMopper): "HELLLLLOWWWW ! ! ! ! !"
ME: "Hey buddy, I'll give you a brand new $5 bill to see how many McNuggets you can fit in your mouth in the middle of the road, and if the cars touch you, you get a sticker!"
Willy: "Okayyyy"
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A Tuesday Troll is a woman that is not very good looking but you would consider taking her home as long as your friends won't find out about it.
No one in the history of bars or trolls has ever gone to a bar looking for a Tuesday troll, but 6 beers later anything can happen.
If you go to a Bar on a Tuesday Night be prepared to see more than your fair share of Trolls because its been proven by science and black magic that the Trolls are most active on Tuesdays between 4:00pm and 12:00am.
Dave: "Hey man you wanna come out to the bar tonight?"
Wayne: "Isn't today Tuesday?"
Dave: "Holy shit I almost forgot, Tuesday Night is Troll Night."
Wayne: "Yep, Tuesday Trolls are nothin but trouble."
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African-Roulette is no laughing matter, it is one of the most dangerous games in all of the world; it is estimated that nearly 10,000 Africans die each year as a direct result of losing in African roulette.
African-Roulette is when a man has heterosexual intercourse with another consenting adult without a condom, the only catch is that the woman is African, which means that there is an 86.3% chance that she is HIV+.
When a man takes a chance like this and loses he dies 99.999999% of the time, Infact the only documented case of a someone living for more than six months after losing at "AR" is the "Magic Man" himself Magic Johnson, who actually set an international record for most "AR" wins in a row with 5, (two of which were three-ways).
"Hi kids my name is Magic Johnson and if you want to grow up like me you should play African-Roulette on the reg."-Magic Johnson
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To attempt a Dirty Pepper Salad one needs to have a "dirty girl", a bottle of Tabasco Sauce, and an appetite for anal destruction.
First you need to apply the Tabasco Sauce to the dirty girls asshole (its best for the girl to be drunk at this point to avoid a violent struggle). After the Tabasco Sauce is applied liberally, go to town tossing that Dirty Pepper Salad.
Caution: Do not go near a Dirty Pepper Salad with your wiener, if wiener contact is unavoidable, don't be a fool wrap your tool.
The Dirty Pepper Salad has also been called the "Spicy Brown Eye" and in China it has been called "General Tso's Dirty Nephew".
Mary: "Why do you have that Tabasco Sauce?"
Buck: "I like my Dirty Pepper Salad nice and HOT!"
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Greasy Guido Tears are produced whenever a member of the "Jersey Shore" cries uncontrollably. Greasy Guido Tears can be caused by any number of things, intoxication, break-ups, lack of hair gel, ect.
Greasy Guido Tears roll down from the eyes through all the makeup, fake tan spray, steroid juices, and greasy skin that the cast of Jersey Shore wear and by the time they reach the ground they have the same affect on the environment as acid rain.
Bill: "Did you see how much Ronnie cried last night on Jersey Shore?"
Todd: "Yeah dude I usually like watching fake tough guys cry, but that shit is bad for the environment"
Bill: Totally, Greasy Guido Tears fall like acid rain and kill the indigenous plants and wildlife"
Todd: "Don't talk about Ronnie like that bro, GTL is my way of life"
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The Pink Eye Pearl Harbor is most easily described as a sneak attack.
A Pink Eye Pearl Harbor is when you sneak into a friend, sibling, or roommates room while they are sleeping, bend over, spread your cheeks' and let er rip right in the face of the unaware sleeper.
When the unlucky bastard with shitty friends wakes up he will have a face full of fecal matter and a beginners case of the dreaded Pink Eye.
An "Ultimate" Pink Eye Pearl Harbor is achieved when the attacker is of Asian decent and he pulls of the attack on a Sunday morning.
Sizuki: "Bansai!!!"
Chris: "Awww whats on my face?"
Sizuki: "Bansai!!"
Chris: "Fuck did you Pink Eye Pearl Harbor me?"
Sizuki: "Ultimate."
11π 5π
This is a rule that occurs many times a day across the United States and the rest of the civilized world.
The Skip One Rule (aka. The Skip One Law) is put into effect when you are in a mens room and there is more than a 1:2 men to urinal ratio.
The Law states that in the event of selecting a urinal, there must be a one urinal gap between other occupants of the mens room.
There have been cases in which the breaker of the Skip One Rule has been called out violently and eventually brutally beaten to death by a bathroom shy paranoid-schizophrenic in an event very similar to road rage.
There are a few exceptions dealing with extenuating circumstances to this rule for example:
1) If you are intoxicated this law, and all other laws do not apply.
2) In a trough style urinal situation. When urinating into a trough one should try his best to urinate at a 45* angle away from the nearest fellow urinater, remember NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!
3a) Huge sporting event restrooms, chances are you don't know the guy next to you and you will never see him again this tends to free up some inhibitions.
3b) It's OK to take a leak right next to another man if you are in a hurry to get back to the ball game. Disclaimer: During halftime this rule is dissolved.
4) If the urinals in question have large dividers and are more than 5.5 feet apart from center mast then they are fair game.
Warning: none of these exceptions apply when dealing with a Bathroom Shy Paranoid-schizophrenic so be careful.
Bathroom Shy Paranoid-schizophrenic: "What the FUCK are you doing?!?!"
Unaware stranger who just broke the rule: " I'm trying to take a piss."
Bathroom Shy Paranoid-schizophrenic: "What?, Your looking at my dick, why are you so close to me, What The Fuck!!!!"
Unaware stranger who just broke the rule: "Where did you get that knife?, No No Shit Noooooo!"
Bathroom Shy Paranoid-schizophrenic: "Don't tell me what to do bathroom sink, you don't even know me."
Unaware stranger who just broke the rule (now bloody and dying): "Damn I forgot the Skip One Rule"
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