Ballge

An illusion in which a man has a large bugle in his pants which turns out to be more balls than penis.

"Went home with Big Bulge Billy, turns out his bulge was a Ballge."

"His Ballge was 90% ball."

Douche Sweater

the end result of a woman's pubic hairs being covered in toilet paper with urine, blood or other substances as a bonding agent.

I was going to go down on Stacy until I saw she was wearing her Douche Sweater